We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
why do cheetos always look like penises
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
