I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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