what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
