I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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