The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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