no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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