the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
