Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I've blown a few things in my day
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
