i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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