There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
