you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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