The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
