So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
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i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
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Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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