On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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