So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
nutella sex= disaster
i think i scared a bird with my dick
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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