I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
