Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
