Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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