he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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