check it out our google latitudes are spooning
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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