marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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