Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
