I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
