remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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