So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
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Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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