Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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