That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
