What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
