This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
