Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
