I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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