my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
