Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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