I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
