Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
