they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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