whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
