I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
