I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
