if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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