Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
