if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
