Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
