i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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