that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
