I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
