SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
