I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
