So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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