she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
