he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
