Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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