my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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