He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
