Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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