Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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