He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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