just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
