I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
