shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Say something about gay babies.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
