Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
