So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
