she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
