He had one of those small greek statue penises
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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