Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
