He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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