I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize